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Sunday, August 11, 2013

I want to tread water

I started swimming lessons again at this place, Melbourne City Baths. It's a fitness center but you can sign up for swimming lessons without joining the fitness center. My lessons' every Thursday and last week teacher asked us to practice water treading.

Today I went to the pool and practiced. Unfortunately, the more I tread, the more I sink. Bobbing like a cork, I sensed the life guard looking at me. Probably thinking is this potato treading or drowning.

As I was treading I had a sudden epiphany. The reason I keep sinking is because I have too much iron from eating too much meat and thus more susceptible to the natural magnetic pull of the earth core a.k.a gravity. Any science student worth his/her salt knows mass multiples everything in any science equation. Let's use one of the most famous equation, Force = Mass x acceleration (Newton: Noooo!).

Assuming Force is the magnetic pull of earth's core, mass is my weight and acceleration is speed of me eating meat over time. Since I eat meat whenever possible and wherever possible, the acceleration should be above average. My bodily vassal is fast approaching BMI 30. Thus...

         -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 fat x higher than average meat intake = turning self into a giant magnet bar = generate enough magnetic force field to attract gravity pull more than normal = can't tread water.
         ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Note: Galileo is a Japanese drama but you pronounce it as garireo


 In the near future the below conversation will happen.

Me: Aunty, please prepare less meat for my dinner.

Aunty: Why? You going vegan?

Me:  No I want to reduce iron from my body.

Aunty: Reduce iron? You already anemic still want to reduce iron? Don't be crazy.

Me: It's so that I can float better.

Aunty: You swim until you sot jor....

Anyway if teacher ask me why I still can't tread water I am gonna tell her exactly that.

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